Crash Course
by invaderzimfannumber1
Summary: Shadow is determined to learn how to drive a motorcycle unaware that he has to pass the driving test first. And Gir is coming along for the ride. This can not be good will he succeed or not? Read and find out.


-Me- Hello my fellow fan fiction people this is my Thirty-sixth story. I strongly suggest that you read the other thirty in order before you read this one otherwise you will not get it. Here is the order. Cool Zim, The Stacker that came from the Stars, Zim and Gaz together at last, Zim's First Love, Zim's Future, Army Zim, Zim's Worst Nightmare, Zim and Fruit what a pair, Dib's New Alley, Amethyst's weird cruse of Doom, The Return of the Stalker that came from the Starts, Pool of Horrors, Talent show of Doom, Grand prize of RJ Doom, Halloween Terrors Combined, Annoying new job of Doom, New challenges, Maybe a New Alley for Dib, Kierra's Grand entrance, Jump in the line home alone dance party, A day with Amethyst, Thanksgiving interview, When Dance Dance Revolution and Waffles Meet, Zim's one little Slip, It'll be the end of the world invaderzimfannumber1and, Amethyst's 1st and Most Horrible Almost X-Mas Ever, Christmas Eve Shopping Spree, The Most Wonderful X-Mas Ever, Amethyst and Kierra's Worst Day Ever, End of the Year Sleep Over, Friday the 13th Valentine Stalker, Poison Bloody Pineapple, Hearts and Arrows, Bloody Sword Transfusion, First day back, Final Destination Iz style, Fourth of July Speech of Doom, First Date, Opposite Day, Neurotically Nice, Sonic Siren, Romance Blooming Deception, The Candy Zombie of Horror, Zombie Squeal, Thanksgiving Turkey Surprise, and Invader Zim Western. I don't own Invader Zim. I wish I did, but I don't. ENJOY AND REVIEW!

Setting 1 The Cafeteria

Amethyst and Paige were sitting together. They were facing each other with their eyes closed.

-Paige and Amethyst- 1, 2, 3, (They opened their eyes and began to stare.)

-Shadow- (He walked up to them and sat next to Amethyst.) Hey Amethyst and Paige.

-Paige-(She continued to stare at Amethyst.) Oh hey Shadow.

-Amethyst- (She did the same.) Hey…

-Shadow- O.k. what are you guys doing?

-Amethyst-*sign* Paige please tell Shadow what we are doing so I don't get distracted.

-Paige- Wait so it is alright for me to get distracted, but you can't get distracted?

-Amethyst- Dah…

-Paige- Whatever. Anyway Shadow we are having a Staring Contest.

-Shadow- A what?

-Paige- Hahaha… That's funny Amethyst said the exact same thing when I told her about it. Man you aliens know nothing about Earth Games. Hahaha…

-Shadow- So what?

-Paige- Nothing I'm just saying. Anyway a Staring Contest is an Earth Game where the two people close their eyes and count to three. Then they open their eyes and stare at the each other and whoever does not blink first wins.

-Amethyst- And that is going to be me.

-Paige- We'll see about that Amethyst. (They continued to stare.)

-Shadow- O.k. why are you guys playing this dumb game?

-Amethyst- Because, I refuse to lose to any human.

-Shadow- Even at something as trivial as this?

-Amethyst- Exactly!

-Shadow- O.k.?

-Amethyst- Oh don't give me that Shadow. This is not pointless and beside I bet Paige if she wins then I will buy her a drink and if I when she will buy me one and I get to spray it all over her.

-Shadow- And you're alright with this?

-Paige- Well I think I have a good chance of winning and either way I'll be fine I think.

-Shadow- Alright anyway Amethyst guess what. I'm going to go take my motorcycle drives test today.

-Amethyst- (She blinked.) YOU'ER WHAT!

-Paige- Yes I win. Ah-hah-Ah-hah… (She started doing a little victory dance.) Man this is fun now I see why you always do this.

-Amethyst- O.k. first of all I do not dance like that, and second of all you got lucky.

-Paige- Oh whatever you lost Amethyst just except it.

-Amethyst- Never, but I will go get you your stupid drink.

-Paige- Cool… (She continued to dance.)

-Amethyst- Aga Shadow you're coming with me. (She grabbed his shirt.)

-Shadow- I'm what wow… (They walked to the drink machine.) Geez calm down Amethyst you'll make my hat fall off. (He said as he striated his hat when they reached the machine.)

-Amethyst- Look Shadow… (They looked at Paige and her dance of victory.) That is what you've exposed me to. (She shuttered.)

-Shadow- Sorry Amethyst I didn't know that my little motorcycle comment would distract you like that.

-Amethyst- (She bought the drink and started walking back to Paige.) Well it did. Here is your stupid drink Paige now STOP WITH THE MADDNESS OF THAT STUPID VICTORY DANCE!

-Paige- Alright fine. Don't worry Amethyst you'll win next time maybe.

-Amethyst- Oh haha… you just wait till next time and we will see who is victorious. Anyway Shadow why would you want to do something so dangerous?

-Paige- Actually Amethyst statistics show that riding a motorcycle is not that dangerous.

-Amethyst- Oh just shut up and drink you stupid drink Paige.

-Paige- Sure… (She drinks some of her Poop Cola.) Mmm… it tastes like victory.

-Amethyst- Enjoy it why you still can… Also Shadow why would you want a motorcycle if we're only… (She looked to make sure no humans were looking then she whispered.) going to be on this filthy planet for another couple mouths?

-Shadow- Because, I can take the motorcycle with me and with Irken technology I can make it able to run and go anywhere.

-Paige- Wait a minute Shadow aren't you pretending to be thirteen years old?

-Shadow- Yah, but this guy that I am going to go see website says "That he will test anybody that is 13 and up…" Besides I think the age was lowered.

-Paige- Oh o.k.

-Amethyst- It does not matter how old you are. I can tell you one thing you will never catch me on one of those vile earth machines.

-Shadow- But, Amethyst one of the main reasons I want to get my license is so that I can take us on a motorcycle date. Come on don't you trust me?

-Amethyst- Of course I trust you. It's the other stupid human drivers and inferior human technology that I 'm worried about.

-Shadow- Oh don't worry Amethyst you'll be fine. And just imagine holding on to my waist feeling the wind in your hair, traveling to new places. Please…

-Amethyst- Alright fine just stop hounding me, but you had better hope that I never get hurt. Because, if I do even though I will heal right away I will still have to tell my Dad. And he will give you hell for hurting me.

-Shadow- Don't I know it… (He looked at the table across from them to where Zim was arguing with Dib about something that happened by accident. Even thought Zim and Dib are no longer enemies they still argue. Lol something never change.)

-Amethyst- O.k. with that in mind I guess I will wish you good luck Shadow.

-Shadow- Thanks Amethyst, and by the way can I borrow Diva?

-Amethyst- Why?

-Shadow- Because, according to his website my instructor loves dogs. So I figure if I bring a "dog" with me to the test I will have a better chance of getting the license.

-Paige- Isn't that bribery?

-Shadow- So…

-Amethyst- Well I'm sorry Shadow, but Diva is even more afraid of motorcycles then me.

-Shadow- Why?

-Amethyst- Because, one day when she was chasing after Gir to get a kiss about ten or so motorcycle drivers ran her over. Of course she was fine, but the situation traumatized her for life.

-Shadow- O.k. What about Kierra?

-Amethyst- No she refuses to wear anything that belongs to Gir or Diva. She does not want their stupidity and/or craziness to rub off on her.

-Shadow- She does realize that those things are not contagious right?

-Amethyst- Of course she does, but she does not want to take any chances with those two. Which leaves Gir…

-Shadow- But, Amethyst Gir is Gir, can't your father just make Kierra a new doggy disguise?

-Amethyst- HAHAHA! No Gir got into the disguise machine, he was trying to make a mongoose dog disguise, it turned out to be a freaky half dog half mongoose horrible monstrosity that creped us both out…

-Shadow- You see that's what I'm talking about. He'll ruin everything.

-Amethyst- Hey he's not that bad and besides I'll tell him to obey you no matter what.

-Shadow- Like that will make any difference.

-Amethyst- Hey it is either that or no "dog" at all.

-Shadow- Fine.

-Amethyst- (Her communicator came out of her Pak and she called Kierra.)

-Paige- And nobody notices this?

-Amethyst- Shh… Hey Kierra.

-Kierra- Hey Master is something wrong?

-Amethyst- Now why do you always have to do that Kierra? Why do you always have to assume that every time I call you that something is wrong? You know what don't answer that. Just let me speak to Gir.

-Kierra- O.k. (She went over to were Gir and Diva were playing Spin the Bottle.)

-Diva- For the last time Gir this is how you play Spine the Bottle. You spin this bottle and… Gir what are you doing?

-Gir- Wee I is being a bottle. (He said as she spun around like the bottle.)

-Diva- Aw Gir you're so cute…

-Kierra- (She cleared her throat.) I hate to break up this brand of stupidity, but our Master needs to talk to Gir.

-Gir- He Little Master uw I can put my hand threw you. (He said as he put his hand threw the hologram.) Hehe this is fun.

-Amethyst- Focus Gir this is serious! I need you to come over to the Skool after class right away.

-Gir- Aw, but Kierra Buddy was supposed to buy me a Suck Monkey today.

-Kierra- I was what?

-Amethyst- Well she can get you one on the way, and yes Kierra you have to do this.

-Kierra- Fine, but I won't like it.

-Amethyst- Anyway I will see you guys later on today.

-Gir- Wait Little Master I wants' to be see threw too.

-Amethyst- Sorry Gir bye. (She hung up.) O.k. so he is not the smartest robot around, but I will tell him to obey you and here if anything goes wrong you can give him this piggy and he will calm down I hope. (She gave him a rubber piggy.)

-Shadow- Thanks, (He put it in his pocket.) but let's face it this is going to be long, annoying, and possibly death defying Motorcycle Drivers Test.

Setting 3 The Test Place

Shadow had met Gir at the Skool and Amethyst told Gir to obey Shadow no matter what. Then Gir and Shadow walked up to this man that was near a motorcycle. He had a clipboard and he did not look very happy.

-Shadow- Hey Mr.…

-Phil- Phil… You must be my next trainee Mr. Daemon…

-Shadow- Yes Shadow Daemon that's my name and I am at your servos Sir!

-Phil- Right… Look kid I'm gonna level with you. I just failed my last student and I've had a very hard day. So let's just get this over with. O.k.?

-Shadow- Yes sir, but first I'd like to introduce you to Gir.

-Phil- Aww what a cute little puppy… (He picked Gir up.) Hi puppy oh you are so cute and soft… Aww… (He rubbed his face against Gir's face.)

-Gir- I like him he silly.

-Phil- Aww…

-Shadow- This is going to be easier than I thought. Sucker...

-Phil- Alright Shadow is it. Let's get started. By the way I like your name it is a dog's name and a good strong name. So I have high hopes for you. (He got into the motorcycle's side car and he put Gir in the seat beside him.)

-Shadow- (He saluted.) Yes sir. (He sat in the driver's seat.)

-Phil- Now let's begin. So what is the first thing we do?

-Shadow- I make sure that my passengers', in the sidecar, seatbelts are bulked. (He bulked Gir's and Phil's seatbelts.)

-Phil- Correct. (He wrote something on his clip board.) Next?

-Shadow- Now we put our helmets on.

-Phil- Good job. (He took out three helmets. He gave one to Shadow that was dark green.)

-Shadow- (He took it from Phil.) Ah do you mind turning around? I have hat hair.

-Phil- Alright? (He turned and put his helmet on. Then Shadow took off his hat and put on the helmet and bulked the hat to his pants belt strap.) Here you go cutty. (He put a helmet on Gir it had a piggy on it and a rainbow in the background.)

-Gir- Hahahaha… Piggy YEAH!

-Shadow- Ahh sir why do you have a Dog Size Helmet with a pig and a rainbow on it with you?

-Phil- When you have been a Motorcycle Drivers Ed Teacher as long as I have you learn to always be prepared, and you would be surprised how many people bring their dogs to my tests.

-Shadow- Oh I am not that surprised.

-Phil- What was that… Oh never mind now show me where the break, throttle, and gas leaver are.

-Shadow- O.k. this is the throttle lever, here is the break, and this is the gas leaver.

-Phil- Great now remember I am going to tell you win to turn right or left, and you must decide when we break. I need to make sure that you know and obey the law.

-Shadow- Cool. (He starts the motorcycle and the test begins.)

-Random Music- **I've been looking for a driver who's qualified  
So if you think that you're the one step into my ride  
I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine  
With a sunroof top and a gangster lean**

-Phil- O.k. Right… Left… Left… and another Right up here… (He wrote more stuff on his note pad.) Very good.

-Random Music- **So if you feel me let me know, know, know  
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for  
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode  
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go**

-Phil- Now it's time for something I like to call the AH AH AH…

-Shadow- Why do you call it that AH AH AH… (He said as they started to drive on a very bumpy road.)

-Gir- WEE LOOK SUCK MONKEY CAN FLY! (He said se he let go of the Suck Monkey and it fell right on Phil's head.)

-Shadow- Oh I am so sorry Sir.

-Phil- It's o.k… (He said as he rubbed the drink off of his face.) Besides I really like Chocolate Bubblegum he said licking some of the left over parts off of his face.)

-Shadow- Shoo… (They continued to drive.)

-Random Music- **Got you where you wanna go if you know what i mean  
Got a ride that smoother than a limosine  
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?  
If you can baby boy then we can go all night**

-Gir- Boring I wants' to drive. (He took the handle bars from Shadow and started to drive them out of control WHY GIR!)

-Random Music- **Cos I'm 0 to 60 in three point five  
Baby you got the keys-**

Now shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

-Phil- Shadow watch out. (He said as went throw a red light causing the cars that they passed to crash into each other.)

-Shadow- I not doing this. (Then he noticed that they were headed right for a bridge that was lifting up and Gir was not stopping.) OH NO HOLD ON! (They flew to the other side screaming.)

-Everybody- AHH/ WEE!

-Random Music-**I got class like a 57 cadillac  
Got all the drive but a whole lot of boom in the back  
You look like you can handle whats under my hood  
You keep saying that you will boy I wish you would**

-Gir- WEE LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!

-Shadow- No let's not and say we did. Now give me that. (He took the handle bars from Gir and put him back in his seat.) I am so sorry Sir.

-Phil- Shadow I'm very disappointed in you. Letting your dog get a hold of the controls so easily…

-Shadow- But, I got control back eventually…

-Phil- Yes at least you have that going for you. So I am only going to take 5 points from you.

-Shadow- 5, but Gir is not even my dog. He's my girlfriends she asked me to take care of him today and…

-Phil- So you have a girlfriend that may change things. None the less would you rather I take 10 points away from your score?

-Shadow- No sorry Sir I'll be good.

-Random Music- **So if you feel me let me know, know, know  
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for  
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode  
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go**

-Gir- (He became bored again. So he took out a rubber moose and started squeezing it. He squeezed it to the side the towards Shadow's side)

-Shadow- Gir cut it out.

-Phil- Shadow keep your eyes on the road.

-Gir- (Then he waged the doll right into Shadow's face making him lose control for a while.) SUPER MOOSEY!

-Shadow- Oh give me that. (He threw the moose to the side and it landed in the road where it will probably either get crushed or destroyed or it will cause someone else to have a wreck.) There he thought he could fly.

-Gir- YEAH SUPER MOOSEY TO THE RESCUE!

-Shadow- (He rolled his eyes at Gir's stupidity then he heard a crash come from behind them and it made him drive off the road for a while.) Wow man how did that happen? (He said as he drove back to the road.)

-Phil- Control your anger Shadow. A cool driver is a better driver. (He marked again.)

-Shadow- Yes Sir.

-Random Music- **Got you where you wanna go if you know what i mean  
Got a ride that smoother than a limosine  
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?  
If you can baby boy then we can go all night**

-Gir- Ooo… what does this button do? (He pushed the throttle button.)

-Shadow- No Gir not that button. (They drove really fast out of control.)

-Everybody- AHH/ WEE!

-Random Music- **Cos I'm 0 to 60 in three point five  
Baby you got the keys-**

Now shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

-Phil- Shadow Old Lady. (There was an Old Lady trying to cross the street right in front of them. Shadow had to think fast. So he pointed in another direction and Gir followed his figure and with his other had he pulled on the break peddle and they stopped.) Shoo… (They stopped just in time.) Sorry Lady I…

-Old Lady- Whippier Snapper you could have killed me. (She said hitting Shadow with her purse.)

-Shadow- Ow…

-Old Lady- Oh what a cute little puppy. He is such a good boy unlike you, better watch where you are going next time or I will use my brick purse on you.

-Shadow- That was not your brick purse?

-Old Lady- Good day and bye bye puppy.

-Shadow- Oh come on.

-Phil- That's it Shadow. I think we will have to continue this test in that parking lot where it is safe.

-Shadow- Fine.

Setting 4 The Parking Lot

Shadow was sitting on the motorcycle in the parking lot. Phil has taken the sidecar off of the motorcycle.

-Phil- Alright Shadow no I'm going to put Gir behind you and he is going to hold on to your waist like your girlfriend will. (He did just that.)

-Shadow- Wait so you want me to pretend that Gir is my girlfriend. Oh this is so wrong.

-Phil- Yes, yes it is anyway just drive and watch out for Old Ladies this time.

-Shadow- Oh ha-ha very funny. Let's just get this over with. (He started to drive all over the place.

-Random Music- **Cos you play the game, got what I got (Get it Get it)  
Don't Stop It's a sure shot  
Aint no ferrari huh boy I'm sorry  
I ain't even worried  
So step inside and ride  
(ride, ride, ride, ride, ride...)**

-Shadow- Now Gir don't mess this up for me Gir… (Gir was nowhere to be found.)

-Gir- (He was on Shadow's head.) WEE GO DOG BOY! (He said covering Shadow's eyes.)

-Shadow- AHH GIR NOW I CAN'T SEE!

-Phil- NO SHADOW STAY AWAY! (He ran for his life.)

-Random Music- **So if you feel me let me know, know, know  
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for  
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode  
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go**

-Shadow- THAT IT GIR GET OFF! (He threw Gir off of himself and into a tree.) Now maybe I can pass this test... Oh no… Phil look out…

-Phil- AHH! (He jumped to the side and Shadow crashed into a tree.)

-Random Music-**Got you where you wanna go if you know what i mean  
Got a ride that smoother than a limosine  
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?  
If you can baby boy then we can go all night**

Cos I'm 0 to 60 in three point five  
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

Now shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

Shut up and drive  
(drive, drive, drive)

-Phil- That's it YOU FAIL!

-Gir- ATTACK! (Gir jumped on top of Phil's head.)

-Phil- AHH GET THIS STUPID DOG OFF OF ME!

-Shadow- I will if you pass me.

-Phil- Fine. (He crossed the F off of the paper and turned it into an A.) You pass.

-Shadow- YES! Gir look I have a New Rubber Piggy Toy for you. (He took out the Piggy that Amethyst gave him.)

-Gir- YEAH NEW PIGGY! (He attacked Shadow for the piggy. Gir got his piggy and now Shadow was under Gir.)

-Shadow- Oh well at least I finally got my license.

-Phil- Say cheese. (He took the picture and a license printed out it is Iz universe technology do not question it.)

-Shadow- Thanks man. (He said now no longer under Gir.) Well I will see you later.

-Gir- BYE SILLY MAN! (They left.)

-Phil- Thank goodness that is over with. I think I will retire from Drivers Ed Teaching.

Setting 5 Paige's House

Shadow and Gir walked up to Paige's house. They opened the door and saw that Amethyst and Paige were still having an arm wrestling contest.

-Amethyst- (She slammed Paige's hand on to the table winning the match.) HAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE! Hahah I knew your puny human muscle would be no match for my superior mix muscles.

-Paige- O.k. you're right the whole bragging thing is really annoying.

-Amethyst- But fun. HAHAHA!

-Shadow- Hey guys look I got my license.

-Amethyst- Oh Shadow I'm so happy. I thought you would get hurt for sure. So Gir behaved well?

-Shadow- Well actually he almost ruined everything, but then he jumped on the instructor's head and I said "I would help him get rid of Gir if he passed me." So I guess I owe Gir a thanks. So thanks Gir.

-Gir- You is welcome Dog Boy.

-Shadow- Whatever.

-Amethyst- So this is your license Hahahaha… you sure do look interesting. (She said as she took the license from him.) And you look very cute in the picture.

-Paige- Yah I love how Gir looks on top of you.

-Amethyst and Paige- HAHAHA!

-Shadow- Oh haha laugh it up you two, but remember Amethyst as soon as I get a motorcycle I am going to make you ride it with me.

-Amethyst- Oh darn, but until then let's enjoy our lives and hang out for a while.

-Shadow- Sure may as well celebrate my success. WOO!

-Me- They all had a great party to celebrate Shadows success and NOW I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP WOO! After three months I am finally caught up. WOOO! Anyway the next story is going to be called Birthday Surprise and it will be up soon with the first chapter which is short. Anyway don't forget to review this story and until next time look at my drawings and I leave you all with these very true words ZIM WILL LIVE FOREVER!


End file.
